Narcissistic Abuse

It all started with a myth…

In Greek mythology, Narcissus rejected all romantic advances, eventually falling in love with his own reflection in a pool of water, staring at it for the remainder of his life.

But narcissists are no myth, are they?

We know narcissists are alive and well in all of our lives, casting a pervasive toxicity that you understand on some level…and feel on every level.

Is it fear, excitement, dread, or hope?  The answer is:  yes.  You feel every emotion because narcissists keep you confused.

You know what you’re seeing, hearing, and feeling.

So why do you feel “talked out of” what you know is off in your gut?

Simple; it’s an adept play in the narcissist’s playbook.  Gaslighting is one of the hallmarks of narcissistic abuse.  We’ll explore that, and the other ways you have seen narcissistic abuse play out in your life.  We’ll look at patterns, past effects, and how they show up in the present.

Where’s the person I thought I met?

As soon as you are hooked, they are gone. They are confident that they have established the beginnings of a pattern. That you will chase that intense love bombing that gave YOU that intense feeling of exhilaration and being swept off your feet. It’s powerful, and they know it. 

They have a first hand knowledge from countless relationships where it played out this way, they got what they wanted, and discarded the person.  You are not the first.

Supply and demand.

That simple motivation behind the actions of a narcissist. Nothing more, nothing less. What outside energy supply can I drain out of others to give myself the things that I need?  All viewable evidence to the contrary, narcissists are extremely insecure people.

Surprising as it may seem, they are actually chronically bored. They are extremely jealous and envious of others, and because they are completely dependent on the validation of others, that supply has to keep coming in in order to feel energized.

If only knowing it were enough.

You can go so much further in our work together than just learning to deal with narcissistic abuse, accepting it, or telling yourself ‘it is what it is’.

Have these words ever been a comfort to know or hear? 

It can be more than a wish or a hope. It can and does happen with work, commitment, and a therapeutic environment that is safe, empathetic and knowledgeable.